Talk about the change in the world your donors can make. That's why they give
"Your donors don't give because you're great. They give to put their values to work and make the world a better place.
When your fundraising is about how great your organization is, you're just being irrelevant.
As the Ask Thank Report Repeat blog says, Raise more money -- Talk about the Need, not yourself:
Raise more money by telling donors what they want to hear. Your donors don't care how special your organization is, and telling your donors your organization is unique doesn't help you raise money. That's because most donors care more about 1) who needs help, and 2) the improvement in the beneficiary's life if the donor gives a gift.
Talk about the change in the world your donors can make. That's why they give."